TFG Tip #1 – Don’t Take Shrooms on your Mom’s Birthday

TFG Tip, TFG Tip #1 – Don’t Take Shrooms on your Mom’s Birthday, The Fun Guys
TFG Tip, TFG Tip #1 – Don’t Take Shrooms on your Mom’s Birthday, The Fun Guys

Its Story Time!

What’s up fellas. TFG here!

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Anyways, today story is about how everyone in my family thought that I was a drug addict.

You are probably wondering why they would think that.

Well, to put it simply, it was most probably because of my stupidity. Or rather, it was because of my stupidity.

Anyways, this is what happened.

I was 17 years old.

I was hanging out with two friends of mine.

I forgot whose idea it was. But we ended up grabbing some shrooms.

I hadn’t done them in a long time and I was a bit nervous.

What if I started doing some weird shit while I was tripping out of my mind.

But I was like, you know what, these are two close friends of mine. These two are probably the best people to be doing this with.

I got pretty hyped up. The more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a good idea.

I had slept at my friend’s house the night before. I wasn’t thinking about what day it was at all. When I woke up, I thought it would be just like any other random day.

I was pretty sure that there wasn’t anything important that day. Usually if my family needed me home for something or anything at all, they would let me know the night before.

My mom would always let me know beforehand, especially when I’m staying the night at a friends. She would tell me something like hey, we have something important going on tomorrow so come back in the morning or don’t sleep there.

She didn’t say nothing, and I didn’t think much of it.

So you know, I wake up the next day. I’m with my friends and it looked like a mighty fine day to do shrooms.

The shrooms came.

We divided everything into three parts, and ate everything at once. Each portion was like two and a half grams, which is more than enough for me.

Right after I take them–like literally right after. Maybe about 5-10 minutes after, I get a text from my mom.

“Hey, when are you coming home?

So I reply.

“I don’t know, probably going to sleep here again.”

She’s like, “we have dinner tonight. You have to be here for that.”

In my head, I’m thinking what’s so important that I have to be there for dinner? I skip dinner with my family all the time. There’s no way it’s that important.

So I asked her whats going on, whats so important tonight that I have to be there.

That was already a big mistake. She goes, “it’s my birthday…. Did you seriously not remember?”

God damn, I’m screwed!

So, in my head, I’m thinking, oh no, like fuck no! Dammit! Why today!

Not only am I in deep shit because I forgot my mom’s birthday was today, but I just took a fat chunk of shrooms. Two and a half grams of shrooms dammit!

I have to go home… and celebrate her birthday… with her… and my entire family… on shrooms!

My mind blanked.

I did not know at all how to respond. I’m pretty sure I paused there for a good 30 seconds.

I ended up just saying, “happy birthday, what time do you want me home.”

Dinner was at five, and it was about 3:30. That meant I had to be home soon–like start heading back there right now.

I said alright, sounds great! I’m looking forward to enjoying dinner with you!

She goes, “great, I’ll see you in a bit then” and then hangs up the phone.

All right, I fucked up. Big time.

Its already at this point and there’s no going back.

I have never prayed to god before but today, I am a faithful believer.

No use moping about, I am going to be positive and salvage this situation somehow. What must be done, will be done. Maybe it might even turn out great!

Who knows!

She didn’t seem like she was that mad at me. If she were mad at me for forgetting her birthday, she would definitely let me know.

I can’t believe you forgot, like what the hell!” Or something like that.

This is a good start, things aren’t as bad as they seem.

But then–reality brings me back with a slap in the face.

I remember again that I just frickin’ ate a handful of shrooms and its been ages since I last had any.

My tolerance is as good as zero.

The shrooms havn’t kicked in yet, but I’m almost certain that I’m about to have a horrible fucking time.

“No, no. Remember, to stay positive,” I tell myself. “This will be the best day of my life!”

So I tell my friends what happened.

“Guys, I forgot that today’s my mom’s birthday. I have to go home soon and celebrate her birthday with the rest of my family.”

Buddy goes, “dude, you fucked up,” and starts laughing his ass off.

“Dammit. I already know. You guys aren’t helping at all right now.”

My other friend, the one that brought the shrooms, says to me, “dude, go in the bathroom right now. Drink shit ton of water or milk and puke all that shit out. If you don’t get it out now, I doubt you’ll even be able to find your way home haha.”

I was like dude, that’s going to make me feel even worse. I’m pretty sure the shrooms have already been inside long enough for me to start tripping out pretty soon already.

Guy goes off saying that it’ll be better than having everything still in your system and some other stuff that I don’t remember.

At this point, all I hear is some droning background noise. I’m not even listening to what anyone’s saying anymore.

Thinking back, this is the point were everything just started spiraling out of control. Things probably wouldn’t have been as bad if could puke most of everything out.

I don’t know, maybe my mind was working on autopilot or something but my tunnel vision seriously screwed me here.

I thought to myself, there is no use talking about the situation and I have no time left to think anyways. Listening to these fools will most probably only make the situation worse.

I go straight to my friends closet. Rummage for some presentable clothes that look like they would fit me and head straight to the washroom.

While I’m in there, I can clearly hear my friends cracking up in the other room.

“This is gold. I really wonder how hes going to get himself through this situation haha.

More laughing the the background, “I don’t know, think hes done for this time. Supposedly, his whole family is going to be there aha.”

“I wish I can be there to see how this plays out. He’s not even trying to puke it out.”

“Yah, that might be a good idea. If we can get this on youtube…. broooo! This could be my lambo!”

Dammit, you can always count on your friends to kick you when your down. I got no more time to dawdle. I stop listening to what they’re saying and jump in the shower.

After changing, I walk back in to the living room.

With a serious face, I look around and tell everyone to wish me luck.

I’m going to take the bus home.

After walking out of the apartment and closing the door, I can clearly hear the guys laughing their ass off inside.

Dammit! I hope these guys get shat on by a flock of birds on their way home.

To be continued…

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